MOTHER - a touching poem -don't know who the author is !
When you came into the world, she held you in her arms.
You thanked her by wailing like a banshee.
When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.
When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.
When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.
When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.
When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud
When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"
When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbour’s
window.
When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.
When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to
gymnastics to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the
movies.
You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV
shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.
Those teenage years
When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, she taught you how to driver her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
Growing old and gray
When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to
campus, carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't
be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."
When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."
When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to
Europe.
When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.
When you were 24, she met your fiancé and asked about your plans for
the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"
When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried
and told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."
When you were 40, she called to remind you of an relative's
birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."
When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.
And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did
came crashing down like thunder.
"Rock me baby, rock me all night long."
The hand who rocks the cradle...may rock the world".
Let us take a moment of the time just to pay tribute /show
appreciation to the person called MOM though some may not say it openly to their
mother.
There's no substitute for her. Cherished every single moment.
Though at times she may not be the best of friends, may not agree to our
thoughts,
She is still your mother!!! She will be there for you...to listen to
your woes,
your braggings, your frustations, etc. Ask yourself.....have you put
aside enough time for her, to listen to her "blues" of working in the kitchen, her
tiredness???
Be tactful, loving and still show her due respect though you may have a
different view from hers. Once gone, only fond memories of the past
and also regrets will be left.
DON'T TAKE FOR GRANTED THE THINGS CLOSEST TO YOUR HEART.
LOVE HER MORE THAN U LOVE YOURSELF.LIFE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT
HER...
About Me
- selvamani
- The name is Selvamani.R. I was born in Rangoon, Burma now known as Yangoon and Myanmar respectively. I had my schooling in I.E.S. .Khalsa School there in Rangoon and came to Tamilnadu, India, did my Pre-University in Sir Thegaraya College,Chennai and M.B.B.S., in Madurai Medical College. Later did my Diploma and Masters Degree in the Regional Institute of Ophthalmology, Egmore, Madras Medical College, Chennai.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
HONESTY REALLY PAYS !!
HONESTY PAYS !!
Once when I was driving my car through the crowded small lanes behind Anderson Street in Parrys corner in Chennai [it is still a nightmare to venture driving there !!] I drove unknowingly in a one way street on the wrong side. There was no way I could turn back but fortunately there were no vehicles coming in our way. At that time I spotted a traffic constable about 40 feet away. As I couldn’t dodge him I drove boldly [!!] straight up to him and asked innocently the way to the shop I was searching for.
He stared at me, looked at the license plate, knew that I was out of city man [country goose!] and asked where I was from. When I replied he asked whether I was aware that I was driving the wrong way.
I feigned surprise and offered to turn back.
He glared at me but later softened “Never mind. Drive straight. Your shop is about 4 buildings away.”
Bingo ! Not only had I wriggled out of the tight situation but also managed to drive to the shop easily.
But the leaf has been taken out from my younger day’s era.
During my childhood in Rangoon in the holidays we, boys, used to roam along, climbing mango trees and plucking the small mangoes [that our pocket money would have easily bought many numbers of good mangoes could not deter us].
In one such venture, two of us were on the look-out [some look out!] while one agile boy climbed to pluck the mangoes. Suddenly a Burmese man from a nearby house came running, shouting and wielding a stick.
Our first reaction was to run but we realized that our partner who has climbed the tree and who was now descending at a record speed could never make it in time and as steadfast thieves we stuck together.
I thought we were in for a bashing as the Burmese people are known to be a rough lot, when my friend who was standing beside me hissed in a small voice in Tamil ‘Stay calm”.
The man who ran up to us was clearly perplexed as to why we were standing undeterred and calm [well, more or less!]. He asked the boy who had now reached ground why he had climbed the tree.
My friend again said in low voice in Tamil ‘Tell him that you did it to pluck the mangoes”
Given time, he would have questioned the sanity of the reply but he was at his wits end [like me] and blurted out the same to the Burmese man.
Hearing the astoundingly honest reply the man scratched his head, lowered the stick and said ‘But, this tree belongs to me “
“Is that so?’ my look out friend calmly replied “We thought it was a common tree “ .
The so called private trees on no man’s area were usually marked with a ring of barbed or plain wire and fortunately there was no such thing.
“No. It is mine. Now, clear off” he shouted.
We strolled away slowly curbing our instinct to run. When we were out of sight we took to our heels.
My friend explained later that the brain wave came to him only when the Burmese man asked why we climbed the tree!
Once when I was driving my car through the crowded small lanes behind Anderson Street in Parrys corner in Chennai [it is still a nightmare to venture driving there !!] I drove unknowingly in a one way street on the wrong side. There was no way I could turn back but fortunately there were no vehicles coming in our way. At that time I spotted a traffic constable about 40 feet away. As I couldn’t dodge him I drove boldly [!!] straight up to him and asked innocently the way to the shop I was searching for.
He stared at me, looked at the license plate, knew that I was out of city man [country goose!] and asked where I was from. When I replied he asked whether I was aware that I was driving the wrong way.
I feigned surprise and offered to turn back.
He glared at me but later softened “Never mind. Drive straight. Your shop is about 4 buildings away.”
Bingo ! Not only had I wriggled out of the tight situation but also managed to drive to the shop easily.
But the leaf has been taken out from my younger day’s era.
During my childhood in Rangoon in the holidays we, boys, used to roam along, climbing mango trees and plucking the small mangoes [that our pocket money would have easily bought many numbers of good mangoes could not deter us].
In one such venture, two of us were on the look-out [some look out!] while one agile boy climbed to pluck the mangoes. Suddenly a Burmese man from a nearby house came running, shouting and wielding a stick.
Our first reaction was to run but we realized that our partner who has climbed the tree and who was now descending at a record speed could never make it in time and as steadfast thieves we stuck together.
I thought we were in for a bashing as the Burmese people are known to be a rough lot, when my friend who was standing beside me hissed in a small voice in Tamil ‘Stay calm”.
The man who ran up to us was clearly perplexed as to why we were standing undeterred and calm [well, more or less!]. He asked the boy who had now reached ground why he had climbed the tree.
My friend again said in low voice in Tamil ‘Tell him that you did it to pluck the mangoes”
Given time, he would have questioned the sanity of the reply but he was at his wits end [like me] and blurted out the same to the Burmese man.
Hearing the astoundingly honest reply the man scratched his head, lowered the stick and said ‘But, this tree belongs to me “
“Is that so?’ my look out friend calmly replied “We thought it was a common tree “ .
The so called private trees on no man’s area were usually marked with a ring of barbed or plain wire and fortunately there was no such thing.
“No. It is mine. Now, clear off” he shouted.
We strolled away slowly curbing our instinct to run. When we were out of sight we took to our heels.
My friend explained later that the brain wave came to him only when the Burmese man asked why we climbed the tree!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
SPEAK CAREFULLY
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE
This happened in the beginning years of my Eye Practice.
One day a village man came with his wife, daughter and mother for consultation.
I prescribed glasses for his wife, treated a minor ailment for his daughter but found that his mother had ‘Mature Cataract” in both eyes which required early surgery,
When I said it the man shook his head and said ‘Just prescribe some drops for her sir, surgery is out of question “.
I was put off by his callous attitude and remarked a bit harshly “Then why are you wasting your and my time!’
The man replied very calmly which is still etched in my brain.
“Why do you say that we are wasting your time ? Charge whatever fees you want.
Just because you said that my mother needs surgery doesn’t mean that we have to do it. We have our own problems.”
I realized that I have said the wrong thing, underestimated him and been promptly and aptly reprimanded.
This happened in the beginning years of my Eye Practice.
One day a village man came with his wife, daughter and mother for consultation.
I prescribed glasses for his wife, treated a minor ailment for his daughter but found that his mother had ‘Mature Cataract” in both eyes which required early surgery,
When I said it the man shook his head and said ‘Just prescribe some drops for her sir, surgery is out of question “.
I was put off by his callous attitude and remarked a bit harshly “Then why are you wasting your and my time!’
The man replied very calmly which is still etched in my brain.
“Why do you say that we are wasting your time ? Charge whatever fees you want.
Just because you said that my mother needs surgery doesn’t mean that we have to do it. We have our own problems.”
I realized that I have said the wrong thing, underestimated him and been promptly and aptly reprimanded.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
AND NOW - FROM FRIEND TO FOE !!
FRIEND TO FOE
One misguided word that’s all it takes to make your friend a foe. Read on.
During hospital ward rounds whenever I saw my colleague Dr.X I used to comment playfully on his recent flair for flamboyant dresses.
He used to give me a scornful look but I always took it by my stride.
One day when he was attired in a very colorful dress I commented that he looked like “Kadhal Elavarasan” [Love Prince]–a title attributed to actor Kamal Hassan.
He became very angry but before he could retort I had gone past him.
After sometime when I was in coffee room one Post Graduate, a good friend of mine came, sat beside me and said he was asked by Dr.X to convey a message. The message was that Dr.X was very angry by my remarks and in future I must keep my mouth shut !
I was perplexed and said to the PG that I have not passed any derogatory remarks.
The PG nodded and said “I know you wouldn’t, sir. But I was asked to convey his message.” and left.
Later Dr.X came to the coffee room.
I greeted him and he came and sat before me and with a stern face and in his broken English [I don’t know why some people chose to speak in English in these circumstances] said “You see. I am fed up with your remarks. You are irritating me beyond limits. I want you to stop it immediately. I mean immediately. Understand?”
Before I could think of a suitable reply he went away.
The next day in the Operation Theatre when I was doing surgery I was lamenting about it to my colleague who was assisting me.
The staff nurse who was administering eye drops heard it all and when the surgery was over called me aside and asked me to repeat what remarks I passed on Dr.X.
Hearing it she chuckled and said “No wonder Dr.X was angry ! Sir, don’t you know what is happening in this hospital?”
Seeing my blank face she continued to say that Dr.X has recently married a staff nurse secretly [second marriage. Dr.X was already married]. So he thought that I knew about his second marriage and was unnecessarily poking him.
No wonder Dr.X was terribly angry.
One misguided word that’s all it takes to make your friend a foe. Read on.
During hospital ward rounds whenever I saw my colleague Dr.X I used to comment playfully on his recent flair for flamboyant dresses.
He used to give me a scornful look but I always took it by my stride.
One day when he was attired in a very colorful dress I commented that he looked like “Kadhal Elavarasan” [Love Prince]–a title attributed to actor Kamal Hassan.
He became very angry but before he could retort I had gone past him.
After sometime when I was in coffee room one Post Graduate, a good friend of mine came, sat beside me and said he was asked by Dr.X to convey a message. The message was that Dr.X was very angry by my remarks and in future I must keep my mouth shut !
I was perplexed and said to the PG that I have not passed any derogatory remarks.
The PG nodded and said “I know you wouldn’t, sir. But I was asked to convey his message.” and left.
Later Dr.X came to the coffee room.
I greeted him and he came and sat before me and with a stern face and in his broken English [I don’t know why some people chose to speak in English in these circumstances] said “You see. I am fed up with your remarks. You are irritating me beyond limits. I want you to stop it immediately. I mean immediately. Understand?”
Before I could think of a suitable reply he went away.
The next day in the Operation Theatre when I was doing surgery I was lamenting about it to my colleague who was assisting me.
The staff nurse who was administering eye drops heard it all and when the surgery was over called me aside and asked me to repeat what remarks I passed on Dr.X.
Hearing it she chuckled and said “No wonder Dr.X was angry ! Sir, don’t you know what is happening in this hospital?”
Seeing my blank face she continued to say that Dr.X has recently married a staff nurse secretly [second marriage. Dr.X was already married]. So he thought that I knew about his second marriage and was unnecessarily poking him.
No wonder Dr.X was terribly angry.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
FROM FOE TO FRIEND
FROM FOE TO FRIEND
When I finished my Diploma in Ophthalmology. and joined Government Head Quarters Hospital we used to do a lot of Cataract operations and had to clear a huge back log.
There was a senior ophthalmologist –Dr.X- and whenever we gathered in IMA meeting or other gatherings he used to remark about the cases I had operated which have developed complications and came to him for treatment.
He always chose the time when I was with 3-4 doctors and used to narrate the complication.
Needless to say this caused considerable embarrassment.
I first thought that the timing was not intentional. But as it occurred again and again I became aware of his cunning motive.
One day I couldn’t contain myself and said “Every operation has its risk. Don’t you get any complication in your operated cases?”
“Never! “he refused adamantly to my surprise “ I take particular care in my cases and achieve 100% result.” {?!]
I have already seen some of his complications but had no proof to confront with him there itself.
I thought at length how to counter his tactics.
If I go to him personally and ask him not to mention my complicated cases in a gathering he would gladly agree.
He will not do that, sure, but he would definitely tell the other doctors about my request gloatingly.
I started collecting a detailed record of his post operative complicated cases which came to me for treatment.
When I had about 7 cases I made my move.
I confronted him about one of his case but unlike him I chose to have my say when he was alone.
“I happened to see one case you operated. She had this complication. “I started.
“It couldn’t be “he tried to avoid.
“Her name is … She is from… village. You have done the surgery on…. She developed this complication on.. ‘” I continued relentlessly.
“Oh! That case “. Now that he is caught he had nowhere to hide except lie out of it.
“You see she injured the eye by banging against a door and didn’t tell me about it “[Couldn’t think out anything better..eh!!].
I confronted him again with another case sometimes later.
This time he didn’t try to squirm away but offered another lame excuse.
Anyhow he was sharp enough to understand the message delivered and his confrontations stopped.
About 2 months later one patient came to me for Cataract extraction.
After examination I advised the routine investigations.
He then told me that he had been already investigated by Dr.X.. He had been taken up for surgery and when he was given injection around the eye he developed swelling, pain and redness. Consequently the surgery was postponed to a later date and he had come to me.
I surmised that he had developed RBH [ Retro-bulbar haemorrhage ] which is a common complication of injection and Dr.X has done the correct thing. I told him so, said it can happen in anybody’s hand and I too have encountered some cases.
He thought over it and said “Yes, sir. I think you are right. He did two other cases on that day and they didn’t get any swelling like me.”
He further asked whether it will be alright for him to go to Dr.X again for surgery as he had paid some advance amount.
I said I didn’t mind and advised him it will be better.
Subsequently he went to Dr.X again, but refrained wisely from telling him about the consultation he had with me, underwent surgery which was uneventful and only after he was prescribed glasses after 6 weeks told Dr.X about my consultation..
He told me Dr.X repeatedly asked what I had said.
After that episode whenever Dr.X saw any complicated cases done by me he used to say that it is not the surgeon’s fault and they can very well continue the treatment under me.
This is a fairy tale ending of a foe turning into a friend and I wish every thing can be resolved like this. But that is too tall an order.
When I finished my Diploma in Ophthalmology. and joined Government Head Quarters Hospital we used to do a lot of Cataract operations and had to clear a huge back log.
There was a senior ophthalmologist –Dr.X- and whenever we gathered in IMA meeting or other gatherings he used to remark about the cases I had operated which have developed complications and came to him for treatment.
He always chose the time when I was with 3-4 doctors and used to narrate the complication.
Needless to say this caused considerable embarrassment.
I first thought that the timing was not intentional. But as it occurred again and again I became aware of his cunning motive.
One day I couldn’t contain myself and said “Every operation has its risk. Don’t you get any complication in your operated cases?”
“Never! “he refused adamantly to my surprise “ I take particular care in my cases and achieve 100% result.” {?!]
I have already seen some of his complications but had no proof to confront with him there itself.
I thought at length how to counter his tactics.
If I go to him personally and ask him not to mention my complicated cases in a gathering he would gladly agree.
He will not do that, sure, but he would definitely tell the other doctors about my request gloatingly.
I started collecting a detailed record of his post operative complicated cases which came to me for treatment.
When I had about 7 cases I made my move.
I confronted him about one of his case but unlike him I chose to have my say when he was alone.
“I happened to see one case you operated. She had this complication. “I started.
“It couldn’t be “he tried to avoid.
“Her name is … She is from… village. You have done the surgery on…. She developed this complication on.. ‘” I continued relentlessly.
“Oh! That case “. Now that he is caught he had nowhere to hide except lie out of it.
“You see she injured the eye by banging against a door and didn’t tell me about it “[Couldn’t think out anything better..eh!!].
I confronted him again with another case sometimes later.
This time he didn’t try to squirm away but offered another lame excuse.
Anyhow he was sharp enough to understand the message delivered and his confrontations stopped.
About 2 months later one patient came to me for Cataract extraction.
After examination I advised the routine investigations.
He then told me that he had been already investigated by Dr.X.. He had been taken up for surgery and when he was given injection around the eye he developed swelling, pain and redness. Consequently the surgery was postponed to a later date and he had come to me.
I surmised that he had developed RBH [ Retro-bulbar haemorrhage ] which is a common complication of injection and Dr.X has done the correct thing. I told him so, said it can happen in anybody’s hand and I too have encountered some cases.
He thought over it and said “Yes, sir. I think you are right. He did two other cases on that day and they didn’t get any swelling like me.”
He further asked whether it will be alright for him to go to Dr.X again for surgery as he had paid some advance amount.
I said I didn’t mind and advised him it will be better.
Subsequently he went to Dr.X again, but refrained wisely from telling him about the consultation he had with me, underwent surgery which was uneventful and only after he was prescribed glasses after 6 weeks told Dr.X about my consultation..
He told me Dr.X repeatedly asked what I had said.
After that episode whenever Dr.X saw any complicated cases done by me he used to say that it is not the surgeon’s fault and they can very well continue the treatment under me.
This is a fairy tale ending of a foe turning into a friend and I wish every thing can be resolved like this. But that is too tall an order.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
SHOP KEEPING
GOOD SHOP KEEPING
In our town there was a small shop which was always crowded.
The owner was always polite, listened to various people and managed the people worked under him with such efficiency that the customer was usually very satisfied.
One day I asked the worker boy to get a Bournvita bottle which was in the top shelf.
The boy instead of getting it quoted me the price.
I said O.K. and the boy proceeded to get the bottle.
But the owner who was watching the scenario became very angry.
He called the boy and asked why he quoted the price when I only asked to get the bottle.
“Did he ask you the price? Then why did you say it? Know first how to behave with the customers.” etc etc., so much that I had to pacify him.
He then told me that quoting the price when not asked for is an insult as it indirectly implied that the price is high and the customer doesn’t look like he will buy it !!. [ I must have looked very impressive !!]
Footnote- the shop is now in bigger premises and also has a sister concern [or should I say ‘brother concern’ as it is now managed by his two sons !].
Not surprising !!
In our town there was a small shop which was always crowded.
The owner was always polite, listened to various people and managed the people worked under him with such efficiency that the customer was usually very satisfied.
One day I asked the worker boy to get a Bournvita bottle which was in the top shelf.
The boy instead of getting it quoted me the price.
I said O.K. and the boy proceeded to get the bottle.
But the owner who was watching the scenario became very angry.
He called the boy and asked why he quoted the price when I only asked to get the bottle.
“Did he ask you the price? Then why did you say it? Know first how to behave with the customers.” etc etc., so much that I had to pacify him.
He then told me that quoting the price when not asked for is an insult as it indirectly implied that the price is high and the customer doesn’t look like he will buy it !!. [ I must have looked very impressive !!]
Footnote- the shop is now in bigger premises and also has a sister concern [or should I say ‘brother concern’ as it is now managed by his two sons !].
Not surprising !!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
GOOD WILL !
MANGOES – GOOD WILL
One day my wife went to a fruit stall, the one we regularly patronize, bought some mangoes and also bought 3 high breed quality –Malkova, separately. Then she went to a grocery shop, owned by our friend, and returned home.
When I came home from my clinic, late night, she told me that she had left the bag containing the 3 ‘Malkova’ mangoes at the fruit stall itself and asked me to get it.
So the next day when I went and asked the owner he didn’t say anything and gave me 3 fresh Malkova mangoes.
I protested that my wife told me that they were already packed in a bag.
The owner said that the workers would have mixed them with the lot as it was not claimed.
I went home and gave the mangoes to my wife.
Later a worker from the grocery store came to our house and handed over a bag containing the 3 mangoes saying that my wife had left them at their shop.
She had left it at the grocery store and has wrongly assumed that she had left it at the fruit stall.
I went to the fruit stall again and gave money for the second batch of 3 mangoes to the owner apologizing for the inconvenience caused.
I asked him why he gave me another set of mangoes [free].
He said he thought that the mangoes left by my wife must have been picked up by another customer [without paying].
But you would have lost the price of the 3 mangoes, I protested.
What is there sir! Goodwill is important, he replied.
I then knew why his shop is the most patronized in our town.
One day my wife went to a fruit stall, the one we regularly patronize, bought some mangoes and also bought 3 high breed quality –Malkova, separately. Then she went to a grocery shop, owned by our friend, and returned home.
When I came home from my clinic, late night, she told me that she had left the bag containing the 3 ‘Malkova’ mangoes at the fruit stall itself and asked me to get it.
So the next day when I went and asked the owner he didn’t say anything and gave me 3 fresh Malkova mangoes.
I protested that my wife told me that they were already packed in a bag.
The owner said that the workers would have mixed them with the lot as it was not claimed.
I went home and gave the mangoes to my wife.
Later a worker from the grocery store came to our house and handed over a bag containing the 3 mangoes saying that my wife had left them at their shop.
She had left it at the grocery store and has wrongly assumed that she had left it at the fruit stall.
I went to the fruit stall again and gave money for the second batch of 3 mangoes to the owner apologizing for the inconvenience caused.
I asked him why he gave me another set of mangoes [free].
He said he thought that the mangoes left by my wife must have been picked up by another customer [without paying].
But you would have lost the price of the 3 mangoes, I protested.
What is there sir! Goodwill is important, he replied.
I then knew why his shop is the most patronized in our town.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)