BANK LOAN

BANK LOAN

All the banks give loans to people and almost all give them to people who don’t need it.
This is my personal experience.

When I started my private practice as GP [General Practitioner] one of the bank employee, my neighbor and good friend said I can avail bank loan for my clinic and will introduce me to the manager.
So I dutifully went to the bank and he introduced me to the manager saying that I am a loyal customer with an a/c in their bank and has come for a loan
When the manager asked me how much I wanted I said Rs.2,000/- Yes. You heard [read] me right, it was Two thousand rupees only !!.
The manager immediately engrossed himself with his work, signing some papers and looked at me again only after about 10 minutes seemingly surprised to see me still there.
‘The bank is in a tight situation now and usually doesn’t give loans
[It is a blatant lie, sir , as my good friend here will confirm, I said to myself].
However if you can manage Rs.1,000/- as fixed deposit I will sanction you Rs.2,000/- , he continued.
I stood appalled at his stand. I was a permanent Government employee and whatever might be said of Government job in terms of security it is unparalleled..
If I have Rs.1,000/- with me why should I ask a bank loan I replied and walked out.
My friend trotted along with me saying how sorry he was.
When we were out of manager’s sight he complimented me on my retort.

Fifteen years later- the same bank, the same yours truly- the manager and the staff have changed but many were professionally acquainted with me and were [are] my friends.
I just strolled into the manager’s cubicle at about 10.15 a.m. unmindful of the persons waiting outside [waiting is strictly for the birds !!].
I said to the manager that I have come for a loan of Rs. 3 ½ lakhs for buying an Operating microscope, presented the Quotation and added that I wanted the amount the same day itself at about 1-30 p.m.
The manager said that I had to put up marginal money of about 20 %.
When I agreed he added that he had power to sanction only up to Rs.2 lakhs and have to send the papers to Chennai office.
I said it is a pity as I want the loan immediately and will be going to another bank for loan.
“No, no, please wait. I can split the drafts into two. I hope that will be O.K.”
I said I didn’t mind but I don’t want my Fixed Deposits to be linked to the loan and I won’t ask anyone to sign as surety for me.
If the bank requires a guarantor I will ask my wife, who is also an a/c holder to sign as guarantor, I said.
The manager just nodded.
I went off saying I will be dropping at 1-30 p.m. to collect the drafts.
At about 1.00 p.m. the manager himself came to my clinic with two demand drafts one for Rs.2 lakhs and another for Rs.1.5 lakhs and gave it tome saying that he had to go urgently to a village for some bank business and thought he will hand over the drafts personally to me as I have said that I wanted them the same day.
I have also given ‘one year interest free holiday period’ to you. He explained that I can start repaying the loan after one year. Actually it is a good procedure meant to help the small entrepreneurs to pick up their business and start making profit before they are burdened with loan repayment.
But as usual it doesn’t apply to me.
I thanked him and said I have neither signed the loan agreement nor given the margin money.
“No problem, sir. You can come to the bank tomorrow at your leisure time and do it.”.

So what happened in between and why the VIP status to me.
Elementary my dear Watson…Now I have considerable amount of money stashed in fixed deposits – much more than the loan amount.
Those of you naïve enough to be perplexed as to why I have opted for a bank loan when my money is earning much lower interest in fixed deposits better ask your auditor!
Hence my saying “banks are very keen on giving money to those who don’t require it”.

MEDICAL REPRESENTATIVES

CHESS POSITION

Another incident of much less importance took place when a Rep showed me a chess position declaring ‘check & mate’ to emphasize the drug’s dual mode of action.
I asked him whether he played chess. When he said ‘No’ I said that the particular position is farce as it could never occur in actual chess play.
As he has newly joined he can make himself noted if he pointed that out in their company’s monthly meeting.
When I met him next month he confided that he didn’t put the matter forward.
After my persistence he blurted out “Sir. The advertisement has passed through much scrutiny. There must have been chess players in many departments and no one has raised any objection. How do I know that you are right?”
I said his doubt is perfectly tenable and asked him whether he had any friends who play chess. .When he said yes, I asked him to show the picture to them and ask them whether the particular position can occur during actual chess play.
When he came next month he was all smiles. He said he first showed it to two of his friends who confirmed what I said. Then he raised the issue in the monthly meeting.
The managers first refused to believe him. But due to his persistence they consulted others and agreed.
He said they have stopped printing the advertisement and the reps have also been asked not to flash it!

MEDICAL REPRESENTATIVES

CORNEAL ULCER

When I was working in RIO [Regional Institute of Ophthalmology], a medical rep Mr.K briefed me about an eye drop- a combination of antibiotic and steroid. Being a Multinational company it has come out with lot of very good looking advertisements with nice clinical pictures.
Listing the conditions in which it is indicated, it also showed Corneal Ulcer with a picture.
I just looked into the picture solemnly.
The representative caught my look and said ‘the picture is very good, isn’t it sir?’
I asked him whether they are promoting the drug to General Practioners also.
He said “Yes. Why, sir?”
I said the eye drop is actually contra-indicated in Corneal ulcer and if used may even cause loss of the eye.
The ophthalmologists all know it and will never use it and will not pay any attention to what you said. But the GPs might think it is a new approach and may use it, I said.
K took the message very gravely. “But sir, I have shown this to many eye doctors. Nobody said anything about it.”
“You need not take my word. Ask any ophthalmologist directly. He will confirm what I say.’
Rattled, K left me.

The very next day I saw him with about five of his colleagues in front of the new building. We were doing ward rounds and I was following the chief. I saw K pointing me to his colleagues.
After finishing the ward rounds I met them.
K introduced me to his senior manager.
The manager said he has confirmed what I said to K. He said it is surprising why it has not been pointed out before.
Any advertisement will have to pass various stages and included approval from the concerned specialist.
I said they must have spent a lot on their advertisements and if they can stop at least printing it again it will do.
“No, sir!” He said firmly. “We are withdrawing all the pamphlets from all over the country at once. I have already spoken to our head office and they have agreed to it.”
I thanked him but he said it is for them to thank me.
“In future I have asked the management to consult a group of Ophthalmologists before it goes for print.”
I am writing this to show the promptness of the company in setting right a wrong thing without considering their ego or loss of their revenue.

TEENAGE BOOKS

TEENAGE BOOKS

Those of you who don’t know what “teenage books “mean, better skip this narration!.
One day a doctor colleague was in melancholy mood.
After some time he shook off and said sadly that his wife has found an ‘Adult Book’ under their son’s mattress. His son incidentally was studying in 11th standard, at that time –about 16 years old.
So what did you do was the universal question.
“I gave him a severe tongue thrashing” he said. “Now he doesn’t face me, and hardly talks to me.”
“You have done a wrong thing” said one.
“What would you have done?” he asked
“I faced the same problem a year back. My wife found a ‘book’ under my son’s bed and brought it to my notice. At that time my son had gone to school. I saw the book and told her to replace it as it was and also not to give any indication that we have found it.
My wife protested. I replied ‘What’s wrong? Actually it is good to know that our son has normal physiological reactions and his hormones are normal!
We kept up the surveillance and shifted the position of the book slightly just enough to make him suspicious.
The books stopped.
Nobody was embarrassed. Our son, though he suspected we know, didn’t know for sure and we continued our relationship as before.”
Everyone appreciated his deft dealing.
But the first doctor persisted ‘Isn’t it wrong? He may go bad.”
“O.K. At what age did you read that kind of book?”
Completely bowled over he muttered “But I didn’t bring it home.”
“So, the only difference is that he was caught and you weren’t.”
Everyone laughed.
“It is quite common at that age. Just ignore it.”

COFFEE ROOM CHATS

REMEMBERING NAME IS EASY IF …..!

One day a doctor bragged about his memory.

He said about 10 years back a cute girl has brought her father for injury in one eye.

He found he had a small tear in the Conjuntiva [a membrane covering the white of the exposed eye] and sutured it.

After that they used to come to his clinic often.

The girl had her eye checkup and he has prescribed glasses for her.

Later she got married and shifted to another place.

When she came to see him after about 5 years, he had addressed her by her name and she was very pleased.

What memory you have got doctor, she had said. The doctors in my place don’t remember my name even if I go often.

Saying it, he looked at us with a beaming smile.

After some time one colleague asked mildly “O.K. Can you tell us the name of the girl’s father?’

The narrator’s face was a sight to behold as he couldn’t remember it and there was loud laughter and jittering.

COFFE ROOM CHATS

ACCIDENT – MASTERLY INERTIA

EYE HOSPITAL

One day in our Eye Hospital in the coffee room one doctor entered hastily and said “I don’t know what to make of our people. I just witnessed an accident. I saw a person lying on the road with blood around him. He was moaning. But the passers by just went on.

Nobody, I mean nobody did anything.”

To the quiet audience he continued “I mean someone could have taken him to hospital or at least phoned for an ambulance.”

After a few minutes one person asked. “So, what did you do?’

It was clear he didn’t expect that question and dramatic to watch his face undergo a vast transformation.

“Well, I…. “ he spluttered. “Well,…I….I had to come to the hospital “he said lamely.

“So you continued your work and didn’t do anything..

You are blabbering about it just to ease your conscience. “

There was meaningful silence now.

It is always better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

COFFE ROOM CHATS

CONVERTING TO ADVANTAGE

In our Head Quarters Hospital there was a veteran doctor who faced any circumstance calmly and often turned it to his advantage.

He was posted in Skin Out patient which is usually overcrowded.

One day we saw him after the O.P. with a bag full of eggs.

When asked he grinned and narrated the following incident.

Two days back in the crowded OP hours one person demanded special attention showing a letter from the Munsif [Village Admn Officer]].

Usually we will brush them off with a scathing remark.

But the doctor took the letter, read it calmly, said he knew the man well, treated the person according to the merits and wrote on the back of the letter asking the Munsif to send a dozen eggs if they are available at cheap rate there, saying he will pay the cost..

After two days the person has brought not one but two dozen eggs and stubbornly refused payment.

Our Munsif said not to receive even a dime from you sir, he has said.